Join Us in Despair

You know when you were a kid and your diary was full of angst and woe-is-me-ness? That is what this blog is for. Lost your job, dog is sick, someone stole your parking spot, crashed your car, just generally glum? This is the place to put all that lovely grey and those long drawn out sighs.

Lists of sad songs. Depressing movie reviews. Top ten reason to stay in bed. All things not happy. Bring them here.

Are you sick, are you tired? Have you been sick & tired for a year? Share it here. Unhappy, gloomy, dismal, down in the dumps, miserable only. Did you have a bad day, a month... share. Not that tragedy and despair can't be funny, contributors are welcome to make their posts goofy, witty, laugh-out-loudable, just not happy or upbeat.

Would you like to be part of the DD&D project? Do you have a sad story, a rant, a poem of a lost love? Join us as a contributor.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Cheery Directives Picked Apart

I am sure this is supposed to be something to make you feel happy and upbeat, full of possibilities, but let us take another look.

Walk in the rain...
and get wet and cold.
Smell the flowers...
and have your hay fever kick up and turn your eyes red and your nose stuffy.
Build sandcastles...
and get gritty, dirty sand in really icky places.
Go on field trips...
and pay too much for admission, and for lunch, eat fried foods, lose your car keys, step on a bee, get a bad churro and be sick on the way home.
Find out how things work...
by sticking a fork in a toaster and twitching for two hours.
Tell stories...
that no one appreciates and they only critique your grammar and laugh when you say you are going to write the great novel of the century.
Say the magic words...
and turn your car into a giant turtle.
Trust the universe...
I would never recommend this, it will surely be a very bad idea. Always beware the Universe.

And just who the heck does Mr. Williamson think he is? Kind of a bossy guy isn't he? Can you imagine going on a date with him? He might call you up and say...

Be pretty,
be happy,
be happy happy,
be joy joy,
be a pleasant, and upbeat, and cheery.
Be ready at 7:30.


Anonymous said...

I enjoyed (sorry!) reading your cynical/comical remarks, LJ.

Anonymous said...

that was hilarious.