One Stolen Day

Yesterday morning the heavens opened and grey water fell from the grey sky, but I couldn't care less as unexpectedly the pain had lifted and it felt good just to go out - just to go out and enjoy being out, soaked through to the skin but full of hope that a corner had been turned.

On the happiness questionnaire they ask "have you stopped enjoying things you used to do" and the answer is "aye" but yesterday I wanted to do them all again, settling for what could be fitted into a single day - a trip to a new town, new food, new accents - buying gifts for people who wont be expecting anything.

Home, soaked and dripping water all over the floor, happier than I've been in 3 months.

A long wonderful night of just talking to a friend without having to say "sorry" every time I had to pause and count to 10 to regain composure. Wild flights of fantasy, silliness and seriousness, laughter to the point of hysterics.

"The you today has been completely different.. its you ..."

Last night I got to sleep soundly for the first time in weeks, and I needed no second invite to catch up on the darkness, and wow, to remember dreaming for the first time in ages.

When I got up, there was the pain, right where I left it - not a gradual slide back in, but more the cell door being slammed and the guard welcoming you back - "lovely day out was it, we might let you have another in 10 years.."


One Stolen Day Out of Time - that's really what its all about isn't it - whats that song by Elbow.. "One day like this a year will see me right"....

One perfect day, a recharged soul and a return to who I am. I can choose to hold onto that and face this head on - "I know you can be beaten my friend, you don't own me", or I can fall further down, more aware than ever of what it has taken and can continue to hold from me.

One Stolen Day - but who stole from who?