Wonder

Wonder written by Eve

I just wonder why.
Why he said those things.
Why he said we couldn't be together.
Why I wasn't the one.

I fell for him from the moment I saw him.
I always felt like I was shaking when we spoke.
My stomach was twisted in knots because I felt something.
And I know he did too.

He seemed so caring in the beginning...
But confused.
And I wanted to help him...
But he wouldn't let me.

He said he was too crazy for me.
He said he would bring me down.
He said he wasn't good enough for me.
But I don't know if all that would've been true...
Because he never gave us a chance.

Over time...
He said very cruel things to me...
And slowly he broke my heart.

And I wondered...
Why did I feel so much pain...
Caused from a person I barely even knew?

Now...
He says he's happy.
He says he's happy with her...
But I don't know if that's true.
But I shouldn't care anymore...
Because his face makes me sick to my stomach now.

I just wonder...
If he only knew how bad he hurt me...
Maybe he'd wish he wouldn't have said those things.
Or maybe not.

I just can't help but to wonder...
From time to time...
Why he ended things before anything even began.

And I wonder...
Why he could love her...
And not me.

But I shouldn't care anymore.
I should know better.
I should know that I was never the problem.
But I can't help but to wonder...
Every now and then.~

*Quick Note: It's past midnight, and I really edited this from what you may have seen earlier. The version I wrote earlier today was done pretty quickly before work and I thought I was content with it, but when I came home, I felt like changing things a bit. I thought with Valentine's Day in the air, I'd feel more happy but for some reason it's bringing mixed emotions.

Maybe it's because I recently saw this person. My boyfriend said (when I saw this guy) "Why do you care if he sees you?"...because I saw him but I tried hard so he wouldn't see me. I just didn't want to be anywhere near him. I didn't want to "run into him." Seeing him brings back nothing but bad memories. I definitely would not want to say "Hi" if he did say something to me. I'm doing well in my life now but when I see him (every blue moon) those awful & strange feelings come rushing back...and I don't know why.